I like to play games in my brain though – so I ended up pondering the idea of exactly what I would do for enough cash to sail around the world for a year. I’m a firm believer that if you work hard enough and want it bad enough – you can create the critical mass to make it happen on your own – this sounds sadly like one of those Disney movies but I guess I’m still a kid at heart. Neglecting those thoughts of how many people you would kill….then breaking down the demographic of killing drug dealers but not innocent kids – I thought I’d ponder what sacrifices of my own I could make – namely body parts.

The more I thought about things – the more I realized that most things tend to serve a purpose. Not that anyone may actually desire to pay me for them – but toes seem to be the only thing that is rather peripheral…..and suddenly lacking them would probably through my balance of ninjadom (ok…so I’m a white belt right now) or pro-surfer (no comment) – I then turned to my fingers – something much more concrete and visually disheartening.

As much as it may impact my ability to type – I would give up one pinky right now to the cause – preferrably my left one. Yep, I’d be looking at that for the rest of my life – but what a great reminder as to what I was willing to sacrifice for a dream – it might even push me to chase other ones without the need to cut off other body parts.

Does this sort of logic make me sick? Have I fallen off the deep end….plunged to the bottom of the pool (assuming that is even what this expression means) and am now grinning widely as the water fills my lungs? I will fully admit that I feel a bit of insanity and mental instability setting in – I’ve been wearing long underwear for two weeks just to stay warm when I sit in the boat…..taking showers at the public shower for nearly 5 years….anyway. …maybe this makes me the typical American looking for instant gratification when I’d really learn more from suffering through it and arriving at the goal.

I don’t know….but it still sucks. With all my pinkies still intact though, I’m going to go back and start working on my programming some more – the potential arrival of a rich mutilation expert arriving here seems bleak.

Later.